All right, Meg.  I’m in.  

Oh yeah:  we are on!

Some time ago Meg Cabot issued the Crack and  Stack challenge.  Confident of her superhuman book-signing abilities, the Queen of Chicklit issued a challenge to authors: sign a thousand books.  In one hour. I’m not sure why she insists we smoke crack, but what the heck.

Wait.  Okay, I re-read the part in Meg’s post about the crack.  So never mind that.

On Tuesday, March 31st, I will present myself at the offices of Egmont Publishing, #3 Vegemite Street in the quaint English village of North  Eelpie on Gorge, Nossex, UK and whatever random string of numbers those foreigners use in lieu of a decent, God-fearing zip code.  (Maybe I should double-check that address.) There I will be presented with (up to) 1,000 books to sign.

I will proceed to school the arrogant Ms. Cabot.

However.  I would like to make note of two facts.  One: I’m 100 years old and afflicted by most of the illnesses diagnosed on House during that show’s first three seasons.  (That’s right:  leprosy. I’m down to a thumb, a finger and a nub.)  Two: there are online rumors that Meg Cabot has a prosthetic robot arm.   I don’t have any proof of that.  I’m just putting it out there, you be the judge.  So it’s possible that a fair-minded person would want me to benefit from a small handicap.  Let’s say 300 books.

The winner will be chosen by this blog’s Alistair Spalding (or his representative,) who can be relied upon to set aside the fact that his employer publishes me while some (possibly Communist) competitor publishes Meg Cabot.